Disclosing your Aspergers

Telling your supervisor at work that you have aspergers/autism can be a daunting task, but at somepoint you may be in a situation when you should tell your supervisor.
What should you say?
How should you say it?

This is a difficult decision-and while i don’t offer any clinical advice-I think my experiences could help because I have been there, been through that, and done it.

First off, I would say it is not a good idea to divulge  having aspergers in an interview process-it just never made any sense to me to do so. I work to promote awareness about aspergers, and would like to use my strengths and experiences to consult for other adults with aspergers, and when it came to jobs, I suggest disclosing AFTER the job offer. In the interview, I would get the opportunity to discuss my strengths, and talk about how I am turning my weaknesses into strengths. Following the offer, I suggest divulging your diagnosis and talking about how your experience is something that has forced me to learn alternate strategies (turning your weakness into a strength)

It is all in how you say it-make sure to keep the details to a minimum.

When it comes to work-sometimes relationships are in the same way-you definately don’t want to reveal to much the first time you meet someone, but finding the right words to use is just as important as your decision to disclose. Always start by using your strengths, and how you have turned weaknesses into strengths by learning more.

Your Aspergers can be a strength in your relationships and your work life, because it will force you to have to learn different strategies for developing social skills in a world that absolutely demands you have them. It can be intimidating, but definately done.

Getting out there!

Getting out there!.

Getting out there!

Today I want to talk about how to promote yourself to employers, as well as people you might like to meet and spend time with-possibly get involved with.

As someone who has aspergers-this is a constant work in progress, but the best thing about this is the fact that HFA and Aspergers is getting so popular now, that people are making a much stronger effort to learn more about it, and as a result, the stigma has become less attached-this includes employers. Some advice:

1) Know your strengths-everyone has strengths and weaknesses-but the best thing about weaknesses is that they can be turned into strengths. If you struggle with personal interaction and communication-read about it, take a course in human interaction, meet with other people that might have HFA/Aspergers-you can always learn more from someone else’s experiences. The best advice I could give was to find employers-or people that specialize in conducting job interviews-and ask them for tips, do a practice interview. If you are looking for relationship advice-seek out couples that have dealt with HFA/Aspergers, and find out about what has worked for them.

2)As part of knowing your skills, know how HFA/Aspergers works-and develop strategies that you could use to work your way around it-for me, I am on the high end of the spectrum, so I am able to develop relationships with people, work successfully at a career and do things that some other people might not do because I am taking the time to learn more about HFA/Aspergers. The most important thing though, is that I choose to THINK POSITIVE.

3)When it comes to women, I definately admit that I have had a difficult time-the best advice that I can give is to not so much focus on what they say, but to pay attention more to what movements they make with their bodies-facial expressions, eyes, etc…

4)Work hard to meet other people on the spectrum-develop a support group, come up with assignments for each week-like practice interviews-discuss what worked, what didn’t, why you felt the way you did, and develop strategies for next time-If you want to succeed, you really have no choice but to do this-start developing your own plan for success, and always be looking for advice.

twitter.com/@stuhlman_adam

twitter.com/@stuhlman_adam.

twitter.com/@stuhlman_adam

twitter.com/@stuhlman_adam

I know everyone, it’s been a long time-I’ve been very busy, but here goes my continued research with Aspergers:

While I have been away, there has been alot going on in the world of HFA-there has also been alot going on in my life. According to Dr.Tony Attwood-noted professional in Autism/Aspergers-the suggested ratio of aspergers in males vs females of 4:1 is actually closer to 2:1

I’ve started re-reading an old book lately called “Solution for Adults with Aspergers, Maximizing the benefits and minimizing the drawbacks to achieve success.” It was written by Juanita P.Lovett Ph.D.  In this book, Dr.Lovett goes into detail about the differences in communication between NT and HFA.

Many people with HFA focus on the details, while struggling to get the picture of things that are going on around them. I know this because I have worked with autistic children before and-even though I am focusing my blogsite on adults-I have seen the same traits. Those with Aspergers tend to struggle picking up on hidden cues, which can cause trouble in relationships both personally and professionally.

Lovett says that many people with Aspergers tend to focus on minute details when it comes to the bigger picture-whereas nuerotypicals tend to “get straight to the gist” when something is happening-this thought process is called Central Coherence. In this process, we take nonverbal cues as to the things that are happening around us, and most of us can successfully deduce what would happen next if we reacted a certain way.

For those with aspergers who don’t have this ability, it’s like having a voice and not knowing how to speak.

According to Lovett, NT’s “have a strong drive for central coherence. Thney take in relevant information from many sources and put it together to find a higher levgel of meaning. They use multisensory channels such as vision, smell, and sound.”

Lovett goes onto say that because most NT’s have a strong drive for central coherence, they will usually put together all different kinds of information-who, what, when, where, why, and how-in order to make a strong determination as to why a situation is happening, and how to stop it.

Most people are pretty good when it comes to picking up on nonverbal cues, and with a little more practice, autistic adults can be, too.

Introductions to the work world, and an update from the DSM

The rates of Autism Diagnosis have increased dramatically in recent years (over the past 10-15), as we have begun to learn more and more about what autism is and what traits signify it-which is always changing. You may have heard by now, but the Diagnostic Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders is considering what would be a massive revision of the definition of Autism, especially for people with HFA.

In an article written by the New York Times entitled : “New Definition of Autism Will Exclude Many, Study Suggests”  the final changes could be ready be December, with almost 1 million children and adults having been diagnosed with some form of Autism/Aspergers/PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified). The Times went on to write that “under the current criteria, a person can qualify for the diagnosis by exhibiting 6 or more of 12 behaviors; under the proposed definition, the person would have to exhibit 3 deficits in social interaction and communication and at least 2 repetitive behaviors, a much narrower menu.”

Overall, there is a chance that many people with HFA could lose whatever benefits they have, as much of the proposed change could make it harder for many of us with HFA to meet what would be a new standard. As for myself, I am not on disability or Health Insurance, but there are many with ASD that are. The whole article can be found at http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/20/health/research/new-autism-definition-would-exclude-many-study-suggests.html?_r=1

In other news, I have just started reading a book called “How to Find Work That Works for People with Asperger Syndrome.” From the onset, it appears to be written for Job Coaches and other ASD Professionals, as opposed to the diagnosed themselves. It starts off reading about the type of individual you or your client is-depending on whether or not the HFA individual conducts their own job search. The beginning portion talks about why employers hire people with Aspergers, the strenghts that HFA individuals have vs.the needs of the employer, and the struggle of communication in a social setting.

According to Author Gail Hawkins, “finding work that works for someone with Aspergers is more complex than just making a good match. This is why conventional vocational support services for people with ASD are frequently inappropriate or ineffective for them.” The early part of the book has covered how to properly assess a candidate (from the perspective of the job coach, not the employer), some of the top skills and attributes employers seek, as well as effective strategies for communication and time management.

I bought this book because I want to learn more about being an advocate for adults with autism-and autism in general as a career field. So far, it has provided a good basis for learning more about what works with HFA. If you are a parent of a young adult with Aspergers, or you work with HFA, I would recommend this.

 

secrets to non-verbal communication

For many of us with HFA/HFASP, one of the biggest areas of struggle is understanding what non-verbal communication truly is, and how to process it. Processing what someone else is trying to say through the actions they display is difficult for normal people, and in many cases virtually impossible for those of us with HFA/HFASP because we tend to be more concrete thinkers-we act based upon what we see, not necessarily what was “said”. The brain typically grows much faster in this area for neuro-typical adults-those not on the Spectrum. While this process is delayed in those with HFA/HFASP, it can cause trouble in relationships because the inability to process what is said through actions is obviously a big part of successful relationships.

For Autistic people, dating and holding strong friendships can be hard because many of us have to figure out what neurotypical people already know-how to understand true feelings and appropriately display them. For us to hold relationships, we have to fail before we can ever succeed-and we have to open to heeding other people’s advice.  As communication is central to all relationships, people have to understand how they best communicate-through writing? speaking?-but they also need to know the other 50% of communication, exactly how the person they are trying to communicate with is going to process this information, and how they will handle it.

Relationships take time, hard work, and patience to build. In a story by the New York Times entitled “Navigating Love and Autism” college students Kirsten Lindsmith and Jack Robison talk about the difficulties they face, and the solutions they find when it comes to communication. In the article, Kirsten and Jack talk about some of the communications strategies they developed for eachother, how they should touch each other-and in what ways they liked to be touched. This is useful because many children and adults on the Spectrum have different feelings on how to be touched, some may not even like being touched.

As stated in “Navigating Love and Autism”, the New York Times describes Jack and Kirsten as both “having difficulty discerning unspoken cues might have made it harder to know if the attraction was mutual. Kirsten stalked Jack on Facebook, she later told him, but he rarely posted. In one phone conversation, Jack wondered, “Is she flirting with me?” But he could not be sure.”

The Times goes on to say that Jack, who “who had never known how to hide his feelings”  expressed how he felt in an email he wrote to  Kirsten. And when Kirsten’s boyfriend pleaded with her to tell him what was wrong, she did, sobbing. She could not explain, she said. She knew only that she felt as if she had found her soulmate”.

It’s not just what you say, but how you say it.

Surviving the Work Environment

People that have Aspergers/high functioning Autism may often have a difficult time in social venues, especially in such important areas as work.  When at work, we are all required to use discretion when handling situations-especially social situations, whether it’s what we say or what we do. In my past I have struggled with this, although I have gotten much better over the past five years-particularly through my own hard lessons, not especially because of what other people have taught me.

Aspergers-on the Autism spectrum-runs from high to low functioning, with people that have high functioning Aspergers usually able to work, find relationships, and success-although it is a constant work in progress. Needless to say, it is much more difficult for people with low functioning Aspergers. I was diagnosed with high-functioning Autism at 24.

According to the Autism Society of Minnesota, Autism “is a neurobiological disability that is present from birth or very early on, and it affects essential human behaviors such as social interaction, the ability to communicate ideas and feelings, imagination, self-regulation, and the ability to establish relationships with others.”

Great! Now what?

For those with High Functioning Autism/Aspergers-(HFA/HFASP respectively) what steps can we take to reduce the risk of potential situations evolving in the workplace?

For myself, the best idea for me was to constantly ask for feedback from my supervisors and co-workers-and I mean constantly. I am always looking to see what I did wrong, what I did good, why, and how I will do better. Being on the high-functioning end allows me to do this self-analysis.

Historically, organization was a problem for me until I have come up with ways to stay organized- that’s right, making a plan and keeping it! Using a datebook is always a good idea.Got a calendar? Of course you do, its on your phone! Use it!   The fact is we all have so many different strengths and weaknesses that it can be a challenge sometimes for an employer to help us put things together in the workplace.

There are different theories as to why people with Autism/Aspergers might struggle in social scenarios, and according to the Autism Society of Minnesota, three are as follows:

1) Dr.Simon Baron-Cohen’s Theory of Mind states that most people develop the ability to understand the internal mental and emotional states of others, but people with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorders) take longer, and have a more limited understanding of this type of non-verbal communication.

2)Weak Central Coherance Theory-the way the brain develops in people with ASD impairs their ability to understand the emotions of non-ASD people. It also affects our ability to plan, organize, and mentally put things together. It impairs our ability to “see the bigger picture.”

3) The final one is Executive Function, which defines some ASD people as “having difficulty processing more then on image at a time”-organizing.

Clearly,all three of these areas play a major role at work. For HFA/HFASP such as myself, we are mostly-at least I am-able to do what we need to do at work. The key is to develop good strategies with your employer. Do your research and find out what works for you.

Understanding Aspergers in Adults

Aspergers is hard to define, but it does not define the adult. According to the Aspergers Association of New England, as many as “50% of adults with Aspergers might be undiagnosed,”  and the believed ration of  4:1 for males to women might be closer to 2:1. Aspergers is anything but the death knell-as many people diagnosed with Aspergers might fear it is-I used to feel that way myself. Throughout history, people that are believed to have had Aspergers have made successes out of their communities, industries, countries, and themselves. According to the website  www.asperger-syndrome.me.uk/people.htm, some successes have included Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Thomas Edison, Heather Kuzmich (a famous fashion model who has worked with Spectrum Magazine, which is about Autism), and yes, Thomas Jefferson.

Aspergers is in on the high end of the Autism Spectrum, and according to autism.about.com       (as well as my own personal experience) many young adults with Aspergers may struggle with social  interactions, fine and gross motor coordination, and eye contact. Non-verbal communication also presents its challenges for adults-which comes into play especially during family life, work, and the dating scene. I should know, because I have been through it. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become much better (through my own experiences and practice) at handling non-verbal communication situations as they happen-I’ve become better at recognizing what people may be trying to say to me without actually saying it.

I will be reaching out to professionals to comment on this site, but especially to adults with Aspergers. Together, as we learn more, we can grow stronger.